Lately I have been thinking about leaving my current church fellowship. I cannot put my finger on it, but I am having great problems in obtaining Christian fellowship. I admit to a great deal of it being my fault, and I will not place this solely on members of my church for not reaching out to me. I don’t know what it is… The people are great, there is no false doctrine and there is no other indicators that would make me leave, but this genuinely bothers me that I have been here for 5 years but have yet to find one Christian brother/sister who I know I can call if I need them or sometimes I find that their interests are divided. I’m not looking for perfection and I realize that NO CHURCH or any person is perfect.
I feel so dull, I read the word, I pray. God is growing me in Godliness and I know his Spirit lives in me. I see the growth I am experiencing. I am currently not in ministry because I do not feel God has called me to any of them… except evangelism of course, and I don’t know the last time we evangelized to anyone. God has called me in this time in my life to LEARN and soak up his word, and he has honestly given me back the time and THEN SOME that I lost seeking the things of the world.
I have realized in my years of being in Christ, that to a good degree that is not about DOING all the time but BEING, and I have DONE sometimes to death, but that doing was not for God but to please men. I desire to be in ministry, but I know ministry is not above God, yet some people treat it that way… I feel like sometimes it is all for show and not for God.
I said all of that to say… PRAY FOR ME. LORD HELP ME. God Bless You.
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