I was exiled from my bible study fellowship of 2 years for owning porn using 1 Cor 5 – Christian cult tactics?
March 82010
Christians only, please: So, here’s the deal, been born again for three decades and ministered for many years in my early walk. I’ve been part of this small group who are like family (If not closer) to me. They were my sole support outside of worship at my old church. I openly, honestly admitted I own porn and others in our group struggle with viewing it online.
One leader-type member is a bonafide sex addict times ten who lives God and hates sin, making a huge production of his struggles and victories. He sanctimoniously diagnosed ME as an addict for not destroying my porn. I was put through over two intense hours of intervention because I casually view porn as a divorced man – at one point, I believe it did control me, however never to the point of this self-righteous man. He went to Meadows and was treated at highest level for sex addiction a few years back following his divorce due to his behemoth lust/addiction behavior. He sees me as being admittedly bisexual and born again (yes, several of us do exist) as a wicked, evil sinner for owning porn and not repenting from it.
I was sorry that my porn was shared without my permission from two guest female members/friends who unlocked my closet and viewed it. Our group leader, a married man confronted me alongside this hypocritical sanctimonious man whobgave me an ultimatum to leave or destroy my porn and seek fairly expensive treatment in a six month course that he attends or be exiled – I chose the course even though I explained I’m not an addict. Then I said I’d destroy the porn, but could not guarantee I may not view some elsewhere or simply rent down the street. I’m honest, sorry. They wanted me to show contrition and say porn is evil – and well, I simply do not believe that – for some people, yes – just like alcohol, but I casually view it, around 90 minutes in past 4 months. So, he says I’m a "casual addict" – lol – oxymoron. I was banished and told to have no contact with anyone in the group, including my two best friends, one who is ex-GF and my BFF possible future wife. Several members hide secret sins (people talk) and I was open and honest about all mine, yet because I physically OWN factory porn I am now personna non gratta.
Is this right?? I’ve been told bi all my Christian friends outside fellowship they overstepped their bounds. So, last night, they had an enormously long intense session on sin leading up to validating my expulsion. However, 1 Cor 5 is referring to a specific sexually immoral PUBLIC sin that hurt the early church. Mine was never public, just pubic – bad joke – need a little levity, sorry. This addict/co-leader told us he’s never felt the Holy Spirit and my gift of discerment confirms that, but judging those inside the faith should require and come purely via the Holy Spirit, I thought, otherwise it is judgment through the flesh – and we all know who is in charge there.
So, am I truly the evil, wicked, unrepentant brother Paul speaks of? Was I in a cult? It sure feels that way. This UN-spirit-filled man even declared me to have a false salvation and that I am living in hell as I speak. I believe he perceived me as a threat to discovering his hypocrisy and duality, thus his successful attempt to convince the leader/host of our group to have me removed. I’ve since removed my false ’shame’ and been cleansed, filled with joy in the Holy Spirit (Jn 7:38) at seeing truth. Am I wrong? Opinions? Thanks and blessings 
Ted, what we run into today, is most all "Christians" look at Jesus thru our cultural lens, and the perspective that’s been given to us from centuries of church organizations. I don’t see that Jesus was ever into protecting the organization and he even invited, accepted and embraced those who were different, messy, f’d up people (tax collectors, prostitutes, zealots, even the one who would betray him). Rather than forcing people away, Jesus drew them close and shined light into areas of their life where it was needed.
Sin is falling short of being who God wants you to be, not someone else’s falling short. The lens of judgement should look inward, not at the rest of the world. It’s amazing how once we’ve "mastered" something in our lives that we felt was "sin", we feel the need to nail others on that same thing and show them the way. Also amazing how God will often use those same things as "Spiritual Sh!t Sandwiches".
Saxophonist Merlon Devine plays at Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock, Arkansas. The song selection is entitled Change from his CD Breate, available on iTunes and at www.merlondevine.com.
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Vacation Bible School at Sierra Grace Fellowship in Auburn, CA. The theme was “Operation Space”. BLAST OFF!!
Tim Lundy, Directional Leader of Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock, Arkansas, talks about the incredible impact and benefit men will experience when attending Men’s Fraternity.