I was exiled from my bible study fellowship of 2 years for owning porn using 1 Cor 5 – Christian cult tactics?
March 82010
Christians only, please: So, here’s the deal, been born again for three decades and ministered for many years in my early walk. I’ve been part of this small group who are like family (If not closer) to me. They were my sole support outside of worship at my old church. I openly, honestly admitted I own porn and others in our group struggle with viewing it online.
One leader-type member is a bonafide sex addict times ten who lives God and hates sin, making a huge production of his struggles and victories. He sanctimoniously diagnosed ME as an addict for not destroying my porn. I was put through over two intense hours of intervention because I casually view porn as a divorced man – at one point, I believe it did control me, however never to the point of this self-righteous man. He went to Meadows and was treated at highest level for sex addiction a few years back following his divorce due to his behemoth lust/addiction behavior. He sees me as being admittedly bisexual and born again (yes, several of us do exist) as a wicked, evil sinner for owning porn and not repenting from it.
I was sorry that my porn was shared without my permission from two guest female members/friends who unlocked my closet and viewed it. Our group leader, a married man confronted me alongside this hypocritical sanctimonious man whobgave me an ultimatum to leave or destroy my porn and seek fairly expensive treatment in a six month course that he attends or be exiled – I chose the course even though I explained I’m not an addict. Then I said I’d destroy the porn, but could not guarantee I may not view some elsewhere or simply rent down the street. I’m honest, sorry. They wanted me to show contrition and say porn is evil – and well, I simply do not believe that – for some people, yes – just like alcohol, but I casually view it, around 90 minutes in past 4 months. So, he says I’m a "casual addict" – lol – oxymoron. I was banished and told to have no contact with anyone in the group, including my two best friends, one who is ex-GF and my BFF possible future wife. Several members hide secret sins (people talk) and I was open and honest about all mine, yet because I physically OWN factory porn I am now personna non gratta.
Is this right?? I’ve been told bi all my Christian friends outside fellowship they overstepped their bounds. So, last night, they had an enormously long intense session on sin leading up to validating my expulsion. However, 1 Cor 5 is referring to a specific sexually immoral PUBLIC sin that hurt the early church. Mine was never public, just pubic – bad joke – need a little levity, sorry. This addict/co-leader told us he’s never felt the Holy Spirit and my gift of discerment confirms that, but judging those inside the faith should require and come purely via the Holy Spirit, I thought, otherwise it is judgment through the flesh – and we all know who is in charge there.
So, am I truly the evil, wicked, unrepentant brother Paul speaks of? Was I in a cult? It sure feels that way. This UN-spirit-filled man even declared me to have a false salvation and that I am living in hell as I speak. I believe he perceived me as a threat to discovering his hypocrisy and duality, thus his successful attempt to convince the leader/host of our group to have me removed. I’ve since removed my false ’shame’ and been cleansed, filled with joy in the Holy Spirit (Jn 7:38) at seeing truth. Am I wrong? Opinions? Thanks and blessings 
Ted, what we run into today, is most all "Christians" look at Jesus thru our cultural lens, and the perspective that’s been given to us from centuries of church organizations. I don’t see that Jesus was ever into protecting the organization and he even invited, accepted and embraced those who were different, messy, f’d up people (tax collectors, prostitutes, zealots, even the one who would betray him). Rather than forcing people away, Jesus drew them close and shined light into areas of their life where it was needed.
Sin is falling short of being who God wants you to be, not someone else’s falling short. The lens of judgement should look inward, not at the rest of the world. It’s amazing how once we’ve "mastered" something in our lives that we felt was "sin", we feel the need to nail others on that same thing and show them the way. Also amazing how God will often use those same things as "Spiritual Sh!t Sandwiches".
March 8th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
Sounds like you with a bunch of judgmental hypocrites who don’t sound very Christian to me.
You need no building to call a Church. The Church is everywhere and you are free to follow Christ. I highly suggest finding others that you can find fellowship that are more tolerant and open to the Word of God.
I wish you the best. Your fellow man can often be your worst enemy.
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March 8th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
get a live. leave those stupid cult.
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March 8th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
i only needed to read the title of the question so i did not read all you wrote. simple fact is unless you were telling the others hey look at porn and do this other stuff like ……. with ladies of the night then the people were wrong to tell you not to come to the class.
the people should have said hey you should come to more classes read more pray more and try more. also they should have said and if you want we will help you more or refer you to someone who is better able to help with that one issue.
Jesus did not come to save the righteouss no he came to save sinners. you are the lost sheep and so the Shepard’ss should seek to find you. not tell you to run further away and not return.
find another church and this time know that we are all sinners . as such we dont need to confess to the bible class the sins we commit . just assume they like you know we are all sinners and are in the class to be better christians .
confess your sins to God. you may feel you need to also confess to a clergy and that’s fine.
the clergy may know some ways to help you . certainly he can refer you to someone who can. i am thinking if this porn thing is a sort of addiction . anyway dont give up
the church is a place of worship but so is the rest of the earth. the church is mostly the people in it.
some times the people in a congregatingn along with the leader have got very mixed up . other times it is to the point that it is a cult or sect. try really hard to avoid them. stick to main stream Churchess. none of them have it all right but most are still with in the playing field.
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my writting is not good now i have had a stroke and something else so i am not able to do much better then what you see thanks
March 8th, 2010 at 11:58 pm
Ted, what we run into today, is most all "Christians" look at Jesus thru our cultural lens, and the perspective that’s been given to us from centuries of church organizations. I don’t see that Jesus was ever into protecting the organization and he even invited, accepted and embraced those who were different, messy, f’d up people (tax collectors, prostitutes, zealots, even the one who would betray him). Rather than forcing people away, Jesus drew them close and shined light into areas of their life where it was needed.
Sin is falling short of being who God wants you to be, not someone else’s falling short. The lens of judgement should look inward, not at the rest of the world. It’s amazing how once we’ve "mastered" something in our lives that we felt was "sin", we feel the need to nail others on that same thing and show them the way. Also amazing how God will often use those same things as "Spiritual Sh!t Sandwiches".
References :
March 9th, 2010 at 12:36 am
First off, I respect you (in my response here I am not speaking in any demeaning way)
A truthful examination of any matter is important.
Out of Jesus’ mouth the word Christian did not once come out.
It is not recorded.
In the Bible the word "Christianity" does not appear once, not even once.
The word "Christian/s" appears only 3 times, and all three times in reference
to someone on the outside.
What I am trying to say is that When you open with the words "Christians only" you are in a trap already, but you may not recognize it. When you attend a Christians only group, you are meeting many people who have a limited perspective of truth, love, God, reality, etc.
These people underestimate, disregard or do not recognize truth, love, reality, and God when it does not appear under the banner of Christiandom the way they believe. As such they are exceedingly limited in their view of reality. Therefore sooner or later they will alienate people, which is what you have experienced.
I encourage you to see that even according to the knowledge recorded in the Bible this exclusivity that we are experiencing in some supposed Christian communities is a reflection of a limited understanding of the Bible which is contrary to Jesus’, God’s, Prophet’s, and Bible’s love.
by the way I have written a book, dismantling sexual addiction entirely
hope you use it well.
book details and my personal website is here
http://sagehope.wordpress.com
by the way, you do not display addictive behavior
References :
Omid Mankoo is an Enlightened Sage and Author
"Open To Bliss Sage Hope’s 1st Gift to Humanity The Definitive & Complete
Solution Manual to Sexual Attraction & Addiction" found at
http://www.XLibris.com/OpentoBliss.html
March 9th, 2010 at 1:08 am
Realize for one thing that Porn destroys, Look Upon those who were involved in it
Dead Porn Stars Memorial http://www.shelleylubben.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0q_VGacfNk
By far, the most searched for terms on the internet are related to pornography. Pornography is rampant in the world today. Perhaps more than anything else, Satan has succeeded in twisting and perverting sex. He has taken what is good and right (loving sex between a husband and wife) and replaced it with lust, pornography, adultery, rape, and homosexuality. Pornography can be the first step on a very slippery slope of ever-increasing wickedness and immorality (Romans 6:19). The addictive nature of pornography is well documented. Just as a drug user must consume greater and more powerful quantities of drugs to achieve the same “high,” pornography drags a person deeper and deeper into hard-core sexual addictions and ungodly desires.
The three main categories of sin are the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 John 2:16). Pornography definitely causes us to lust after flesh, and it is undeniably a lust of the eyes. Pornography definitely does not qualify as one of the things we are to think about, according to Philippians 4:8. Pornography is addictive (1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19), and destructive (Proverbs 6:25-28; Ezekiel 20:30; Ephesians 4:19). Lusting after other people in our minds, which is the essence of pornography, is offensive to God (Matthew 5:28). When habitual devotion to pornography characterizes a person’s life, it demonstrates the person is not saved (1 Corinthians 6:9).
For those involved in pornography, God can and will give the victory. Are you involved with pornography and desire freedom from it? Here are some steps to victory: 1) Confess your sin to God (1 John 1:9). 2) Ask God to cleanse, renew, and transform your mind (Romans 12:2). 3) Ask God to fill your mind with Philippians 4:8. 4) Learn to possess your body in holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3-4). 5) Understand the proper meaning of sex and rely on your spouse alone to meet that need (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). 6) Realize that if you walk in the Spirit, you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). 7) Take practical steps to reduce your exposure to graphic images. Install pornography blockers on your computer, limit television and video usage, and find another Christian who will pray for you and help keep you accountable.
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The Lightning Strikes